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Does Islam Need Feminism?

Feminism is a hot topic right now with a lot of misunderstandings and sharp opinions. By definition, feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights based on the equality of the sexes. Equality between sexes does not mean men and women are the same, we know that is not true. It means they should be given the same opportunities and respect regardless of gender and within the context of Islamic feminism, their Islamic rights must be upheld.

Islam advocates for the good treatment of women and pushed for female rights during a time when many cultures viewed women as a lesser gender and some even questioned if women had a soul. For example, Islam gave women the right to inherit and own property, stopped the infanticide of females and gave women the right to divorce as well as deny marrying someone. Yet someone reading this right now is saying “women can’t divorce in Islam without the husband agreeing” and that person just proved a point I will unpack later because that is not true.

These examples along with others cause some to claim that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was the original feminist. Whether or not this term applies, we can all agree he was an advocate for female rights. Imagine a time when abused women had no rights, female babies were buried alive and marriage practices were often forced and oppressive. Widows became the property of the next male kin in the family along with all of the possessions the husband left behind. She was not given any inheritance rather she became part of the inheritance to another man, as if she was a piece of furniture. Undoubtedly, the Prophet (saws) was an advocate for the marginalized.

So far, this all sounds like Islam came to protect women. So why the rise in Islamic feminists? Why are so many male and female Muslims standing up to say Islam needs feminism?

Waves of Feminism

Before we dive into Islamic feminism, we need to grasp how this all began. The first wave of feminism was seen in 1848. This wave focused on the right to vote and was spearheaded by two abolitionist females that were barred from attending the anti-slavery convention in London. In 1870 African-American men earned the right to vote and this greatly motivated suffragettes as no one expected ex-slaves to be granted voting rights before women. While voting was the main focus, the first wave feminists also advocated for equal opportunity to education, employment and owning property. These were radical ideas for the time. It was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to vote.

The second wave begins in 1963. This wave focused on the cultural archetype that women belonged at home and had no place or desire to seek anything outside of child rearing and housework. A book titled The Feminine Mystique acted as social media does for us now and brought together many women. It spread rapidly and began inspiring women towards social advocacy. During this wave, the right to birth control was enacted, educational and employment acts were passed by congress along with the famous Roe VS Wade case that gave women reproductive rights. Even marital rape was finally recognized as an injustice towards women.

The third wave began around 1990 with a focus on claiming female beauty as ours, not a product for men. While the first two waves would label painful high heels and an hour of makeup as patriarchal oppression, the third wave sought to own their female beauty. Essentially saying we can wear high heels with red lipstick and that does not take away our brains nor does it mean we wear it for men. Some people refer to this wave as “girly feminism”.

Currently we are in the midst of what some label the fourth wave, some claim it is still the third while others say the fourth wave has not truly launched. Semantics aside, we are in a “call out” culture that puts emphasis on social media, sexuality, spreading awareness and a great example is the popular #metoo movement.

Islamic feminism pulls from all of these waves. Whether it be regarding legislation, education, cultural archetypes, displays of beauty or sexuality, Islamic feminism is talking about it. We can label it the modern day Islamic wave of feminism.

Islamic Sexuality Oppressed

In the earliest days of Islam, people would talk about sexuality in a mature and adult fashion. We have numerous narrations of people asking the Prophet (saws) questions regarding sexuality. Some of these topics were erectile dysfunction, foreplay and permissible sexual positions. In the book “A Taste of Honey” that sums up Islamic sexuality, he notes that the Prophet (saws) advocated for foreplay as a necessary action for women and seen it as wrong to deny them foreplay and satisfaction.

Can you even imagine Imams talking about this now? These conversations do not happen as much as they should. The Islamic community has become overly conservative when it comes to discussing these topics and as such, many Sisters feel unable to be free sexually or fully satisfied.

This has evolved into some Muslims feeling that it is immodest or shameful for a woman to have a high sex drive or be experimental with her husband. Sexuality is a gift from Allah (most honored, most revered) and that gift is for both men and women. I have read numerous articles and social media posts where Brothers try to assert that women do not have a need to climax nor do they have the same desire.

A popular online writer, Becoming the Alpha Muslim, had a FB post where many Brothers were asserting it was the woman’s fault and her own psychological limitation if she was not satisfied with her husband sexually. I have to wonder if they would say the same thing if the man was not satisfied with his wife.   

Islamic Rights Oppressed

Islam has put in place specific rights for males, females and family members. We can think of them as base guidelines on how to treat those around you and ensure they are taken care of. Each marriage and family has their own unique dynamics, in some cases, people may actually waive some of those rights but that can never be forced. The problems arise when Islamic rights are denied.

We see this when inheritance is taken by the older Uncle instead of the daughter and her money is spent. He excuses this by saying she is too young or he knows how to handle money better, but that inheritance is her right. Sometimes we see a husband forces his new wife to live with his Mother instead of giving her a private space of her own and furthermore expects her to serve his Mother. That is denying her the rights of a wife and I do not need to explain how many Mother-in-law issues we have currently.

Mosque

A woman has the right to pray at a mosque just as a man and it is forbidden to deny her this, but we all know this is happening in our communities. Even if the man does not explicitly say, “I don’t want you here” (as many do) websites like Side Entrance illustrate how poor some of the female prayer areas are. As if they are discouraging women to attend the mosque and could care less about their spirituality.

When you shove women into a basement not even half the quality of the main prayer area, where they cannot even see and properly hear the Imam, do not tell me you care at all about their faith. This concept of separate prayer rooms did not happen during the time of the Prophet (saws) because back then male accountability was enforced, not women being accountable for men who do not lower their gaze.

Divorce

Some Brothers believe their wives cannot divorce them unless they agree to it. (I said we would get back to this)  Let us pause for a moment, how would that work with abused women? Do you actually believe a man who beats his wife will say, “Sure hunny, I divorce you” or will he beat her for asking? A woman can divorce a man, it is called a khula and I recall a specific situation where a young revert exercised this right to divorce her abusive husband who also happened to be an Imam. He tried to assert she could not do it so she took him to the local shura council and they reminded him of her rights, she got her divorce.

From these few examples I highlighted, we see Islamic rights which were granted to the women from Allah (swt) being denied. Often the men may actually believe this is just or somehow in line with Islam, when in actuality, this is culture and it is against Islam.

Cultural Oppression

Recently I saw a situation where a husband wanted to marry someone else because his wife gave him two healthy baby girls instead of a male. The Prophet Mohamed (saws) put emphasis on the blessing of having female children yet culturally some Brothers still take the stance that a male child is superior. This is a baby, yet some will wrongfully label a male baby as superior due to their culture.

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Whoever supports two girls till they attain maturity, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this”. Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) joined his fingers illustrating this.

[Muslim]

Some of the expectations within culture put a woman in a cage and tell her to obey. She is denied the freedom to speak her mind truthfully or disagree. Yet wives of the Prophet (saws) did not always agree with him and a woman even publically disagreed with Omar (ra) who was known for being strong-minded and he commended her for it. You can only cage people for so long before they seek to burn down the cage.

Summary

All of this illustrates that within Islamic culture, some women are not able to be sexually free with their husbands and feel like their satisfaction pales in comparison to his needs. Some Sisters struggle with their fundamental Islamic rights being denied.

Cultural beliefs are causing Sisters to feel less appreciated and their voice not recognized. We have areas with a lot of room for improvement.

My Own Take

When you come into Islam as a new Muslim woman, you expect to see such honor and high regard for women but the truth is Muslims are humans and as such are fallible. What I have seen has made me realize there is a reason why so many people stereotype Islam as oppressive. There is a reason why so many people think Muslim women are marginalized. If I may be so bold, if I had interacted with Muslim culture prior to studying Quran I would have ran away. Alhamdulillah that I focused on the religion and not the culture.

Instead of debating with feminists and arguing that Islam has no need for feminism, we should start asking why so many women feel they are oppressed. What is happening that so many men and women are speaking out for the rights of women? Something has to be causing this and those that reduce feminism to nothing more than “angry man haters who don’t respect men” are trivializing real issues and real injustice.

If you read the Quran without any cultural or media influence you get a feeling of protection for women, honoring women and equal rewards for male and female.

“…Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; you are of one another…”

[Quran 3:195]

From my perspective as a revert, Islam in itself does not need feminism, but the Islamic culture does. Call it by any name you like, perhaps the word feminism is jarring and I personally do not identify as a feminist as I do not love labels. We can say the Islamic culture needs justice for genders, the culture needs to take a step back and the deen take a step forward.

IN THE AGE OF ISLAMOPHOBIA, WHY REVERTS ARE LEAVING ISLAM

By Monique Hassan

People often talk, write, rant about “Islam —the fastest growing religion in the world”. This is true. Pew research statistics highlight that Islam is predicted to be the dominant religion of the world by 2060. This is not simply due to conversions. The fact that a Muslim family typically has more children than other religious families also contributes to this growth. Islam does have a high rate of reverts, with a majority of women, accepting the faith. Yet, many ignore the darkness that eclipses this beautiful fact. Many reverts become apostates. This is what we hear from imams who pastor to converts, we hear this in revert chat groups.

Based on my experience, I did not say some of them, I did not say a few of them, I said many, if not most. So why? Why are reverts leaving Islam? After all of that sacrifice and hardship which come with the territory, after being rightly guided and accepting the oneness of Allah  why would they then decide to leave?

The overwhelming emotional state you will see in any revert group — online and offline— is one of isolation and lack of acceptance. It is neither the lifestyle nor their beliefs.

Upon the shahadah, the born Muslim community smiles in our faces and says,“Mashallah, you chose Islam. You are so great!”

Then they walk away and leave us alone in our newly Muslim state. Like a child we are entering a new life, a new way of thinking and perceiving the world. We don’t always know what to do; we don’t know who to trust or who to listen to. Many assume others are helping us or have become our friends when truthfully, most of us spend our Eids alone and we break fast alone. Many of us have never even stepped foot into the house of another Muslim. Majority of reverts are alone in their walk of faith.

Last Ramadan, I stopped going to community iftars. I regret it, but I did that for one reason. I didn’t want to feel like a stranger anymore. Sure, people that know me greet me with kind words and some of the sisters in my community have beautiful hearts, but I end up eating by myself. Sometimes, I even sit on the ground by the playground. Rather than looking like the unpopular girl that no one wants to sit with, it looks like I am  watching my child swing.

Alone.

Eventually, we don’t want to feel this anymore, it feels like rejection. So what do we do? We back away from the community. We isolate ourselves, even more (which is dangerous), because we don’t want to keep feeling like an outsider. We are left without any support network or other believers around us, and we try to brave the disbelieving world alone.

How many born Muslims find it hard to live in a society full of Islamophobia and traditions that go against their lifestyle. Reverts typically do this alone.

THE LEFT AND THE RIGHT

Often, we are told this is haram, that is haram, you need to stop doing that. Yet, the earliest Muslims focused on aqeedah before legislation, so why are we expected to become an Islamic scholar overnight? Then, we face the other side of the spectrum, the so called ‘moderate’ Muslims on the extreme left. The liberals and the self proclaimed ‘Islamic feminists’, who insist hijab is not fard, neglect their prayers and have dust covered Qurans on their bookshelf. They tell us to loosen up and “why are you being so extreme, born Muslims are not this strict— so why are you”. One sister told me I was like ISIS, because I stated that only sexual acts within the sanctity of a permissible marriage are considered halal forms of intimacy.

We are told on the left that we are too strict and we are told on the right that we are not strict enough. We are searching for where we belong, but the truth is we are strangers in this world.Strangers in our western society where we grew up and strangers in the Muslim community because we are different. We have to learn to embrace that strangeness and let it become part of us-we won’t escape it, so we have to cope with it.

“ABU HURAIRA REPORTED, THE MESSENGER (PEACE BE UPON HIM) SAID, “ISLAM BEGAN AS SOMETHING STRANGE AND IT WILL RETURN TO BEING STRANGER, SO BLESSED ARE THE STRANGERS.” SAHIH MUSLIM 145

Lifestyle Changes

Let me explain to you what reverting to Islam means for most of us. We all have our own unique stories of what led us on this path, but after taking our shahadah, the stories become all too similar. Slowly, we lose most if not all of our friends, not necessarily because they judge Islam, but because our lifestyles are so vastly different. Some reverts are shunned by their own family. I knew a revert who is not allowed to pray in her mother’s house, they force her to pray in the backyard. Some of us are blessed and have some family that try to understand (Alhamdulillah), but all too often many lose the majority of their loved ones.

We give up our past identity and our very way of life. All we have become accustomed to is changes. The person we were prior to shahada is gone. Imagine for a second, truly sit back and imagine if you walked away from the life you have always known and changed yourself from the inside out in a massive way. Cutting yourself off from what you have always known and have always been, in order to willingly adopt a completely new lifestyle. When you adopt this change, you expect acceptance. Instead you come to realize you are an outsider on both sides, caught between two worlds.

A HARDSHIP I DO NOT WISH ON ANY MUSLIM

For those reading this that are born Muslims, have you ever thanked your family for raising you as a Muslim? You should. Take a moment to appreciate the blessing in being raised in a Muslim household, being taught how to pray and always knowing about the Final Prophet .

I want you to really feel what I am about to say because this is a heartbreaker for reverts. Imagine if your mother and father were disbelievers, and now imagine they died in a state of disbelief. Let that sink in. You know the potential implications. Imagine your aunts and uncles dying as disbelievers. The Prophet (peace be upon him) could not make duaa for his own uncle. We have to obey this example. For reverts, this is usually our entire family.

HOW TO COPE AS AN ISOLATED REVERT

As reverts, the best source of strength is going to be our iman. We have to rely upon it or we cannot make it. We must remember that the first generation of Muslims were all reverts! Looking to this example we see the first martyr Summaya , a mother and a wife, whose life was taken because of her faith. We see the countless sahaba that were tortured; we see the example of Bilal crying out ONE GOD as they mercilessly tortured him on the burning sand. (May Allah be pleased with both of them) The Prophet  was pelted with rocks from children for simply trying to do dawah.

In looking to Islamic history we see countless examples of strength during adversity. Yes, we must face anti-Muslim bigotry and yes we face feeling ostracized on both ends, but these tests are not nearly as harsh as what the sahaba endured.

“DO THE PEOPLE THINK THAT THEY WILL BE LEFT TO SAY, “WE BELIEVE” AND THEY WILL NOT BE TESTED?” QURAN 29:2

This is where I tell you change your perspective, change your heart. These hardships are like proving grounds. This isolation and pain is our jihad, alhamdulillah. We can choose to fall apart and say it is too much, or we can choose to stand up and show gratefulness for these tests! If you are isolated, then know that you are never alone, Allah (Glorious and Exalted) sees us and knows all.

Angels are always at your side recording all that you do, every struggle is recorded and every time you say ALHAMDULILLAH during those struggles it is known.

Every time you fall to your knees crying for strength and pouring your heart into sincere duaa, it is heard.

Every tear is a blessing. Just as hot water cleans and purifies, our heated hardships can clean our hearts if we allow it.

Monique Hassan is a writer specializing in behavioral health and Islamic psychology . She also works at an inpatient behavioral health hospital. She has a bachelors of science in psychology with a biology minor and is certified in crisis prevention and intervention. She is a revert, a wife and a mother. Visit her website www.MoniqueHassan.com

American Mysticism II

American Mysticism

Embark on a rich interfaith discussion with Chris Garner, an old time friend, intellectual companion and interfaith lecturer. Chris and I share stories and challenge ideas about religion and attaining mature spirituality. What is the future of the faithful in America, especially Muslims? Why he thinks the core issues of humanity is greed and violence and what role does God consciousness play in our future society.

Pledge a coffee today!
www.patreon.com/coffeewithkarim

First 15 min:
What is wisdom?
Pitfalls of youth on the path.
Being a true servant of God.

15-30min
Unseen realms.
Grace and insignificance.
Making meaning of human questions.
Reaching our full potential.
Cycles of violence and greed in society.
Muslims and white nationalists.

30-45min
What is the true religion?
The Golden rule.
Can we remove evil?
Perspectives on the story of Adam.
Terrorism in America.